Pyaar Ya Paisa (Love or Money)

 

This is the most common stupid question we have came across in life since teenage. There are several quotes saying Money can buy you happiness, but love brings peace. This is the most asked question by human to decide should they live for love or money. Both are important to have a happy life. But no one understands how much love and how much money is important. It’s evident that people have seen problems in life even after having millions of money. Also, to be noted that people choosing love or luxury have suffered in keeping a sustainable life.

Lets understand why some people have more affinity towards money than towards emotion like love. The major reason that can be summed is from the fact that they have seen the real life struggles, they have bigger ambitions that needs a lot of money to uphold their dreams. Some consider money to be their most important thing is because they have never been content in what they get. To be always in the most stable situation, to be more controlling in life and to have the most bold impression on everyone around can be the basis reason for considering money over everything else.

For some money is even bigger than God, and that’s a fact. Some human are so much convinced that they believe whatever they want can be bought by money. They hold the flag to make others believe that luxury, happiness, vacations, gifts and lavishness is all that can make them feel complete. They are so much dazzled by the prize brought by the wealth that only thing matters is how to become even more wealthier.  To be wealthier they forget the lessons learnt in life, they uphold no morality, no wisdom, no kindness and no love for anyone but themselves.

We have great examples of this, Wealth is equivalent to power in the world, wealth can bring power to the person and that is very evident if we look at the events of the history. America is one of the wealthiest countries and they are the most powerful countries as well. Zimababe is a poor country and the power that it hold in the world is negligible. This is pretty evident by the fact that power is the byproduct of wealth.

A wealthy person works even harder to keep the wealth stable or growing every year. They are so concerned with their size of wealth that everything else is secondary. This can be easily identified as human nature called, greed. Power is not the only byproduct of wealth. The other minute but very much prominent byproduct of wealth in a human are greed, cowardice, selfishness, self centeredness, empathy less. These are some major emotional changes that have been seen in people who believe only in money. Money and buy you not just happiness, but the whole world, said example is Elon Musk. But Money can never by you peace and love a practical example is Hitler.  The biggest tycoons are both divided into two different categories, the one who have morality and the other without morality. With power comes the responsibility to not only make yourself bigger but to build everyone.

Lets now count on love and affection and other part of the question.

“Tujhe itna pyaar karu ki mae tu hojao”, means, I love you so much that I become you, is a form of intense love. Defining love is little difficult, as love has many forms. The common thing in all forms of love is that it takes birth in heart as the truest form of affection. Love is associated with emotional segment of the brain that is associated with internal satisfaction and happiness. We have experienced love in the many forms from our parents, friends and teacher’s. This is a bond that remains with us until our life. Purest form of love builds us whereas, too much of love can destroy us  too, anything of too much can lead to decay. Thus, an appropriate amount of love is enough to build a strong person.

It’s a very important factor of life, its absences always makes one feel incomplete. The life is never complete without the affection of someone. How can one imagine living happily if that person has always been hated by everyone? No amount of money can fill the void and sadness created by the absence of love. That’s the power of something called love. When the world comes to existence for a small child, the first thing that it is introduced to is the warmness of its mother. While we are growing up we look for the same comfort, someone who loves us cares for us just like our mother. Only the one who has been devoid of this comfort knows the pain of rejection and separation. Except the love of parents that infinite everything else is temporary and finite.

It has been accepted that nothing in the whole world can be more precious than being adorned and being loved. The most happiest person are those who find the truest form of love in someone and have the luck to get that in their life. The only dream a true lover will have is the welfare and happiness of the other. All these but they ask nothing in return. If you ask something in return for the love you give then it’s just a good business. And someone who is doing business is definitely not in love but looking for their profit and loss in the other person. Love sprouting from heart should be due to their partners personality and their behavior towards them otherwise it’s short lived materialistic form of love. Thus the saying, "Doesn’t judge what you see, that may be a drama put up to impress you, judge by getting involved and feeling it". Its said a true love is the most rarest of the rare chances for anyone, its unique, beautiful and satisfactory. Love and honesty is considered as the most expensive thing, everyone cant afford it. We have seen some friendships and relationships to last forever and that is because they have truly cared for each other.

But the question is not about just living life, its about making choices so that we are living our dream life. What all play an important role in building what we dream is more important that just being in comfort. At one point of life we might leave everything that we loved just to achieve what we dream. So yes, ahead of love and comfort comes our dream. Nothing is as important as a dream. So, everyone is at one point of life is definitely confused about what to choose, should we do what we love or we do what we dream. Someone has truly said right that dream what you love, and love what you dream. But that is sometimes not possible due to the circumstance in life. With time and ages we have learned, that love may be precious but not as important as dream.

Everyone is born with their fate in hand, but the one who dreams and dares to change is the hero of their life. If you get a chance be confident enough to leave one for the other. But yes, do remember god has made it very evident by examples in history, you either get one only. No matter what you do if you choose money over love, you will never get true love ever in life. This is a very visible fact, love vanishes for ever if you ever rejected it. Money can come even after love, but if you reject love, it’s tough to get that back. Renowned Sufi saints have written verses to describe, what love looks like. No one can understand it’s depth unless one is all into it. Also, the beauty of money is beyond praises, a powerful man can be helpful to many. They may buy something like love that would look a lot like love. In god’s eye the one who achieves any of these in their most honest and purest form is the winner. Finally, to conclude It would be wise to weigh the needs and situations accordingly. Go with heart because all our life we are working hard to make our self happy and satisfied from the bottom of our heart.

Inhuman - Working Condition- A chair is missing.

The time when there were no malls, only big to small shops prevailed. It used to have one or more shopkeepers whose work includes to look after the whole shop, customer and giving customer services such as returns, refunds, and other services. It worked like a reputed workplace, shopkeepers had some rights, powers, and respect. With time malls became very common and essential for shopping in big and small towns across the world. But in earlier days the shopkeepers used to have a proper place for them to sit and sell. They did not have to stand the whole day and do the job. In bigger shops there use to be shifts in working hours. And these shops used to take lunch breaks in between and everyone used to get time to go out and take a break. This made their work very comfortable; they liked to work even under pressure they had one thing for sure a place to sit and relieve the tiredness.  

The main issue in the present world is that these people whom we consider labor, who work for betterment of the humanity and take pride in doing all the lower work are suffering at the hands of powerful people. People who control the economy are least concerned about what their labor force is going through. The concern for this blog is the pain that these people who work in stores, malls, and other places are facing. They are working full time whole day standing. This is a kind of cruelty that is been done for decades without any solution.

They are not strong enough to even raise their voices for their concerns. They are more scared of losing their job if they try to question their rights. The advantage is taken by the big mall owners, they are profiting on cost and labor working hours. Every worker, salesperson, and assistant works 8 to 9 hours a day without a chair. They are not allowed to sit and rest. They have to work standing. Even the old (aged) watchman and gatekeepers are not given chairs at the gate. They are ridiculed, not given basic human rights to sit while working, and made to feel like servants in the malls and shopping centers. It not their job to serve while being standing for the whole day and listen to customers comment.

I have written emails regarding this issue long back and kept pursuing the management to take action on it. But I see no change till now. Nothing is changing and no one is caring about it. The whole management seems to ignore this topic all at once. They are working in complete comfort from their home and office so they have no problem. Big companies like Spenser, Zudio, Reliance Mart, Pantaloon, D-Mart and many more are the culprit and bringing down the working standards.

Someone needs to stand against this inhuman practice and break the glass so that others can be protected. Why no one is concerned, why does no one see their pain and help them? It's time to be a little more kind to others, lessons learned in the school in moral science need to be used now to make a profound change in the working culture. This will indirectly help the upper management of the companies to open more portals of comfort working for all employees.

Things that needs to be added are segment shifts, work scheduled, adequate amount of breaks, chairs for everyone working there, rest room, proper formal treatment, timely training, feedback grievance portal, and a stress-free environment. These things need to be added to the malls, shopping centres and Marts. This is needed for all top-to-down management from labor to assistant. May someone one gather the courage to raise their voice against any inhuman working environment.

This is a very small concern compared to other big environmental damages that these big multinational organisations are doing. One by one correct step will lead to an ethical working environment for all. May as a human we start to think and come out  of our mobiles and see the world not from eye but from heart so that we feel what others feeling.

 

When life gives you lemon.

 

When life gives you lemon, you make it lemonade. But if life gives you nothing, you make nothing out of it. It's better to have a lemonade than to have nothing.  Life is never empty, there is always something somewhere silently available.  The power to grab that thing is called confidence.

So, last month I met a woman, she was around 45, with two kids and a divorce. The kids were like 10 and 14. Her beauty was average, at 45 she looked 50 and the only feature that attracted my attention was her smile. That was mesmerizing. She talked very less, mostly about her kids, or complaining about her marriage and how her in-laws and husband ruined her life. I got curious about her after knowing that at 43 she had taken a divorce, single since two years.

We were talking to each other as we sat next to each other in the AC waiting room in Kolkata station waiting room. I asked her, about her life after divorce and got a lame common answer. I asked what actually happened, and she showed no interest in replying to me.  So I changed the topic and asked what you do to meet your ends. She laughed and laughed and then smiled, and said, “I worked for twenty years for a mean man so now he paid for my job.” It was a good sum of alimony that was paid to her. I was curious to know more, like what her relatives, kids, and society had an impact on her. And I was curious because I was trying to understand about marriage and its life.

Was she happy doing this, instead of asking her, I thought to observe her behavior towards people, things, and situations. This gives an overall idea about the person’s mental situation. I kept looking at her elder daughter, who looked just like her mother, and the son who looked like his father, I guess. The kids were fidgeting over a packet of chips and the girl seemed more dominating. While the fight was too loud by now her mother shouted at the girl and then the chips were all of her younger brothers. Here again a girl sacrificed her needs to become a good girl for her mother. At this very young age she was behaving like half mother to the boy.

I went out and bought two samosas and asked her would like to share them, she smiled and said I don’t eat oily food. I went out and started to stroll on the platform looking at passengers and trains. I bought a book to read. While getting back in the cabin I saw her eating the patties and chips. She looked bewildered and smiled at me. I looked at her with surprise, what about the oil now? Anyways, I got bored and I wanted my train to come now. Suddenly she started to explain to me, “I was really hungry and felt that eating a few chips won’t raise my cholesterol as I am suffering from diabetes”.  I showed sympathy to it and asked how long. “Yes, last year only I felt all the symptoms of diabetes, so when I got myself, tested my sugar level was excess high.” On that her daughter said, “I give her medicine on time, mummy will get better in one year only.” Then our discussion started to move on to my parents, my father also got diabetes at his 45th year and so my mother. Both got it in the same year. We discussed natural medicines, yoga, and other method that can be helpful.

Then again a silence, it gave me a chance to talk to her daughter, I looked at her, smiled, and asked, "do you want some chocolates"?, to which she said yes. I said, “Let's go out and buy some for you.” To which she looked at her mother for permission, and reluctantly her mother nodded yes. We went out to a nearby stall and bought chocolates. There I asked her, “ Where does your father lives.” She said here in Kolkata.  I asked her "why did she left your father", And she looked confused and shy to answer. So who is in Delhi, “No one, we are going to Delhi to visit the place, after that, we will go to Agra and return via Haridwar”. The excitement was so clear on her face. “are you not missing your father?”, “No one is missing him, my mother has made some good decisions in her life now, we are happy with it.” She said proudly.

Here I got my answer, it’s not important if she is happy or not, if she will able to meet ends or not, it’s important if is she satisfied, and content with what decisions she has made. Here I was seeing a powerful, confident, and independent woman who took her lemon to make it into a sweet lemonade. A mother taking two young children alone to big cities all by herself to just have a vacation is not very common in our country. I was at that moment inspired, to be confident enough to take a stand for my decisions and the right steps that are important for my growth in life. Its important to walk on path created by you because you are not a pet. Take risk and live for yourself. The danger of passing or failing is always there, the important part is whether are you on the path drawn by yourself or someone else. Life will always try to give you a lemon, you should learn it by the experience how to make a good lemonade. Problems, anger, dissatisfaction, and disappointment are a part and parcel of life don’t take these as danger or something to stop you from making your decisions. Move on, learn with experience and stand and walk. Walk until you reach the goal set by you. The pleasure and happiness that one gets after reaching a the goal is immeasurable.

I have learned a lesson today, anyone can teach you a lesson that is going to help you in reaching your goals. Fear ends when you start to believing in your decision and your ability. Don’t be dependent, just because you think someone else is authorized to guide your life. Take charge, fight, and walk to reach the goal. I went back to the cabin and she was talking to her son and it seemed that she was good enough for her kids and could build the happiest environment for all of them.

 

 

 

The world of the queens.

                                                            

Society is well-designed by nature with lots of minute details into it. If we look closely we see that the whole world is designed into a colony system. A colony system is a predesigned setup to protect the people living in it. Colonies are created to protect the females and offspring from hunger, predators, disease, danger, and demons. The most powerful in the colony are the males and their role is to protect females and their offspring. We can take examples like colonies of ants, bees, wasps, elephants, lions, birds, and many more. The main role of the male in these colonies is to protect and provide for the female and the offspring, they are supposed to be caretakers of the family. The role of the female is to produce, feed, nurture, and, guide.

Male and female are two creations for two different roles. One is to produce, and the other is to protect. Nature has made the same rules for every species on the earth. Males are built in such a way that they are less emotional, and are more result and goal-oriented as compared to females. Their major goal is to keep their partners happy, to bring food, to bring facilities, taking care of the safety of predators. Males are more valiant in comparison to the female part.

If we look closely it's evident, that a male whose emotional quotient is higher, tends to build a happy colony with less resistance. Females are happier and healthy offspring are developed. Also, males in these colonies prefer taking the advice of their female counterparts for any action. This builds trust and the whole process is fruitful and smooth.  As male has different hormones, they are mostly triggered easily, they tend to dominate, fight, and attract other females. They are very much dependent on short-term moods. A build-up of all these traits brings them to the conclusion that they need to look up to others especially female partners for guidance.

As per saying goes females are creators of the world, but a man keeps it running. Of course, females are dependent on males and they look up to them for survival, safety, and sex. But, if we look upon women and men on the earth, damn women are trapped in a world designed by men. Machines that make the work easy are designed for men, by men, and given to women. That’s why it is difficult for women to run them and easier for men. The world is not safe because some cruel men are free and open. Even biologically men get older very late, their bodies are youthful even in their forties whereas women get older faster. Women can become mothers only till their menopause, whereas men have sperm to make babies in the late 60’s.

Concluding, the imbalance is clear and visible, it is obvious that men are not supposed to control. It’s the female that shows the ability to direct the energy in the right direction with the correct advice. She can control, direct, and rightly operate the whole system with the help of men. A colony works on this principle only, female are meant to do work that needs her guidance and control. The mechanism is built in such a way that women are delicate, can produce babies, and then look after the babies and provide for them. Women are cunning, they can direct men to do work for them and create their world. A world, that gives identity to a male in a colony. All the delicate work is done by the female and the tough done by the males. Women are supposed to be emotionally strong because it takes a lot to create a new generation.

A colony will not work systematically if the male-female task is exchanged or any one section is trying to sabotage the other. Playing against nature is always paid in a disaster. When a male takes control the whole colony is shaken and adversity is faced by everyone involved. Thus, control should be in hands of female and work in the hands of male. History has seen when male don’t listen to females the destruction all prevalent. The colonies die, the society dies and even the family dies. A kingdom falls when the king doesn’t listen to the needs of the people. In the same way a female is meant to be a creator and nurturer, when she breaks this rule her built-up colony falls. The two invisible forces are created to balance each other. Thus, in this world and in its creation male exists because the female wants to have a family.  The female is superior and the queen. The only duty of males is to protect and provide for them. 

A"," in life. When comma is too long.

All changed , city changed ,people changed, life too changed. My favourites changed , my likes dislikes changed, my name changed . it's been long since I have written a single blog. I was busy with a new phase of my life. I got campus placement and last year I was busy with work. This year I am busy in my married life and after some days I shall be busy with a new born life .

If I look back I see so many years have passed and phases kept changing year by year. From student to working lady to married woman to going to be mother.

Everything looks very beautiful very new . yet I am lost in my in old memories. My eyes not able to wink those old days . anyways some great man had said that this is only called growth in life. So I m growing. Am I growing old or am i growing in experience ?

I am not growing I am shrinking. My life is shrinking to the limitations drawn by my own self and nevertheless society. That comma in my title actually represent's the wait that is there in each phase .

My eyes are longing to see what I had seen when I was teen. Actually this comma is the pause between my dream to be and my effort to it.

And that same person has said that there is always an end to all wait. And I am hopefully waiting for the wait to end.

Chatpatti HAJMOLA..!!!

In a population of 100cr Indians its tough to find anyone who has not tasted Hajmola. A candy loved and carved by all age group. Its the Ruler of all candies. In one rupee 6 candies of small button size in colourful sacket. "Aam ya Emily" two taste as always available in those old days but today some modification has given it some more tasty twist. It was actually taken as medicine for digestion generally after heavy meal . but the enjoyable taste of Hajmola was irresistible for anyone. Time to time popping it like pills. 

There has been several modifications, from color to varieties to quantities but the taste is still the same. There is no difference in taste the same tangy, tasty, yummy, yummy. Years after the successful launch of Hajmola in the market on popular demand a Tv ad was made . Which was very interesting to see.

Hajmola never needed an advertisement. It was easily available in all stores of candies and kiranas in all size and price. From past many years Hajmola and my relation broke due to some reasons. But just some days back when i saw Hajmola lying on dining table i could not resist it and popped it one after another in series. The same old tangy taste filled my mouth with childhood joy.

Memories of college days.

Its been 9 days since college got over . The college life is something which everyone remembers and share with their friends and family when ever anything similar crosses their life.

The 1^st day of my MBA college was in June . It was a two years of  diploma experience in the field of business, diplomacy, human relation and financial world.  

I was one month late to college and that’s why quite cut off from rest of the class. To make friends in a diplomatic environment is quite tough. A ray of hope is only possible when  you are ready to adapt and be open to anyone’s proposal. And this happened with me not once but I made two friends. And because of those them I was welcomed in a group. Our chemistry was awesome. They became my best of friend till date.

The process of making acquaintance was progressing and the communication barrier was minimizing. Everyday a new presentation, viva, project were making our life tough. Everything depended on making a strong group. It was very essential to have good working people in the group otherwise the question of who will complete the project would mess up all.

In the best of groups also only one person as messiah, who was responsible to complete the whole work alone . The best moment happened when we all gather to discuss those serious topics of business and projects and presentations. And the whole serious situation turned out to be a get together party with food, snacks, cold drinks and lots of gossip and the presentation had to be Googled and copied atlast . Those silly days brought us so close that it felt like family . The whole hostel was turned into a place where each one use to support other.  Those were the moment when working together in groups made us strong  and we started to think like leaders and take decisions for a team.

The preparation for exams was never in isolation. Group studies helped us not just to study faster but also to pass the exam with mutual efforts. The days were passing with lots of fun and adventure .Fights, bitching, arguments were common but all had some limitations. and at the end of the day things were sorted out.

In these two years of journey I had made almost everyone my friend. But still there were difference between some .  I strengthened my EQ and communication skills. Coming to this college and studying in a diversified environment helped me a lot in understanding the characteristic of the human nature.

In the span of two years I made some of strong relation with my class mates and this bonding turned into best friendships. I use to shuffle between two groups one was my hostel friends and the other was cool Delites( delhi friends). I loved to be with both of them. The hostel friends were like family to me and my biggest share of my life was spent with them. The Delites friends were like fresh breeze. Their presence was so exciting and fun. Being with them was always a productive as they use to discus studies a lot. Their way of thinking use to inspire me to be cool. I miss them a lot.

The 1^st experience of competition was faced while sitting for SIP process and there we realized that we are no friend but competitors. And everyone is competing with one another to get the best offer . My SIP experience was awesome. Me and my companion had the most exciting time. More than learning our time spent enjoying it. There I  got 1^st hand experience of  industry working environment.

The college use to organize college fest to give us extra curriculum activity experience. From painting to dancing every event was organized and not participating would make me introvert so I participated for the 1^st time in face painting and street play and won in both. That gave me immense satisfaction and confidence.

 There were moments when I felt lonely. I felt that no one is my friend and neither I am to anyone. In those days I use to do something for self improvement. I use to do something productive and was able to develop the other side of me which was less diplomatic and more creative.

This is how I completed my college life . Two years MBA from a reputed college living far from parents and in a vast diversified environment enjoying and cherishing each moment. I miss my teachers and professors. They are the real strength behind  us. They are who  groomed us  and made competition ready.